Look Me in the Eye: Third Post (Up to 207)
Please respond to one of the four prompts (from Penguin Publishing). Your response should be at least 300 words. Please proofread thoroughly before publishing. Also, make it clear which prompt you are responding to.
1. In Chapter 16, “One with the Machine,” Robison says, “Sometimes I think I can relate better to a good machine than any kind of person.” Discuss the reasons he gives for his affinity. Why might a person find comfort in machinery but not in people?
2. Despite career advice from music industry insiders, Robison doesn’t want to move to a city. Compare the life he experiences when he’s on tour with KISS to his life back in Shutesbury. Why might the idea of living in a city be intimidating to someone with Asperger’s?
3. Robison writes that he can’t smile on command. How often do you smile “on command” whether you want to or not? How would not being able to automatically produce the expected facial expression make your work life more difficult? Your personal life?
4. As he explains in Chapter 20, “Logic vs. Small Talk,” Robison is also unable to perform the little verbal niceties that often pass for conversation. Questions like “How’s your wife?” or “Have you lost weight?” don’t occur to him when speaking with friends or acquaintances. Do you remember how you first learned to make small talk? Have you ever struggled with it? Are there any conventions of small talk that strike you as peculiar?
Question #2
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of his career, John worked with a band called KISS. He did many special effects for them, along with fixing broken amps. Many people who worked with him for KISS told him he should move to a city. “Ampie, you should move to L.A.! You could work on films with me,” people told him (172). But Jong didn't want to move to a city. The life he had while on tour with KISS was very different then the life he had at home in Shutesbury. In Shutesbury he was immersed with family problems. He had always had a difficult family life, and that was much more true when he was at home. When he was on tour, he still heard from his brother, but he was much more removed. Another difference between his life back home and when he was on tour was how he lived. When he was with KISS he lived a much more glamorous life most of the time. He was able to fly his brother out to see him and pick him up in a fancy rental car. But back home, his only mode of transportation was the motorcycle he had fixed many times himself. Like many people with aspergers, John had a very hard time getting to know people. I think that that made the idea of living in a city scary to him. “I didn't like cities. They were full of people- people who made me feel anxious, people I didn't know how to relate to,” John says(172). Cities are big places full of different people and I think that wasn't really what John was looking for. Another of the reasons that he didn't move to the city was he felt that he had to be close to his family. His brother was still in school but also he didn't feel comfortable leaving his parents alone. “I was also afraid to leave my parents,” John explains (172).
Good response, Lily. At one point, you mention that he "was much more removed." Do you mean that in a way it was good that he was removed from his home life for a little bit?
DeleteSmall talk is a common thing that most people wouldn’t even consider a skill. But if you think about it, it could be difficult for someone like John Elder Robison. When I was younger, I don’t quite remember, but I imagine that I would listen to my parents chat with each other and their friends. Making small talk quite often, I probably picked it up from them when I was really young. I can never remember me racking my brain for just the “right” question to ask someone when I see them. Or consider all the options of things I could say. Small talk just seems to come naturally as I assume it does for most people. There are social boundaries that I’ve just learned that most likely contribute to my ability to make small talk. I know what’s appropriate and what’s not in certain social situations which seems to be one of John’s problems. A part of this is knowing what people expect you to say and how people expect you to act. This is something John has struggled with and I can see why. On page 192 John expresses this problem, “When they don’t get the response they expect, they become indignant. If I offer no response at all, they become indignant at that. So there is no way for me to win.” When he is having a conversation he very deliberately crafts a reply. If small talk was not an innate skill, you can see how it would be difficult. Coming up with the right thing to say is a simple conversation doesn’t seem hard. But if you really don’t know how small talk works, it can be very confusing. I personally, take this skill for granted. I do not wisely consider my options before I make small talk, I just do it.
ReplyDeleteI chose prompt number 4
DeleteI think you're right, Gretta. Small talk does come naturally to most people, and I think you're also right in that they pick it up from listening to parents. But for John, reading social cues is definitely not in his wheelhouse.
DeleteI chose a mixture of the first and third prompt, i'm sorry if you didn't want me to do that. John Elder's has problems communicating with people, but he likes machines because he knows hot to react to them. It must be hard not being able to know how to respond to a certain question. "How normal people know which of these questions to ask is a mystery to me. Do they have better memory than me, or is it just luck? It must be social conditioning, something that I am completely lacking, (193)." I thought it was interesting how he was talking about people with visible disabilities, and how it's difficult for people to notice if someone has Asperger's. "A person with an obvious disability -- for example, someone in a wheel chair - is treated compassionately because his handicap is obvious, (194)." He wanted the same respect as a person with a visible handicap. Bringing it back to main topic, he knows machines wont judge him and their more logical. "The best programs follow logical pathways to arrive at suitable responses, (189)." I was shocked by how much his Asperger's effected him with his work. He talked about how everyone was telling him he needed to work as a team. "I hated to get up and face another day at work. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to stop forcing myself to fit into something I could never be apart of. A big company. A group. A team, (205)." Him and Little Bear got married, but John was having trouble with his job. "We were happy at first, but as things worsened at work, I brought my problems home, (205)." I think he slowly started to realize that he needed better social skills if he wanted to be a engineer. Making the toys, machines, and instruments was easy for him, but talking to people was the difficult part. I wonder if John will ever be able to find a stable job that suits him.
ReplyDeleteI like what you wrote about visible disabilities versus the kind of disability he has. It must be incredibly frustrating to not get the kind of patient treatment that others get.
DeleteQuestion #1
ReplyDeleteIn the book he made this statement and backed it up by saying “I have a lot of trouble reading other people. I am not very good at looking at people and knowing whether they like me, or they’re mad, or they’re just waiting for me to say something. I don't have problems like that with machines”(pg. 151). People are very confusing, they have so many emotions and facial expressions and ways of saying things that don’t completely make sense. All these things are very hard to read and understand and since he has aspergers, it makes them even harder to understand. He seems to like straight forward things; he’s a logical thinker. People aren't like this, but machines are. They are very logical and straightforward. This is why he finds comfort in them. Machines work like his mind. Machines don't make you decipher what they are doing like people do. He also mentions that machines don't talk back, they are predictable, they don't trick him, and they are never mean, which are all attributes of people. He clearly doesn't like this so being around people is uncomfortable for him. Throughout his whole life, he has found so much comfort in machines. When his childhood life wasn't great, he turned to machines as a way to forget everything. When he got a little older, he used machines to get a job. He doesn't like working with the people, but he really likes working with machines. I feel like a lot of people can relate to this. Some people are just very logical thinkers just like John. They don't understand people and why they do the things they do and why they act the way they act. People are very confusing and interesting, but to some that makes them uncomfortable to be around. Machines are something that works well with people like that because they are very analytical.
I like what you had to say, Dan. I think that for John, machines are just predictable. There's comfort in predictability.
DeleteQuestion #3
ReplyDeleteDoing an action on command like smiling or raising your eyebrows is something people do to communicate and show emotion that will be processed by another person. For me I smile on command when greeting someone I know or don’t know, this gives the other person an image of openness and friendliness. This way the other person is more inclined to either start a conversation or smile back and carry on with their day. Other than that my smile is forced through other people’s words to either show that I am interested in a conversation or to make people feel comforted. If I was not able to show a certain facial expression on command or at all then people would not rely on me to talk to. I have learned that showing emotion or expression in a conversation can either keep the conversation going or can end one depending on the expression. Some people thrive off of other peoples emotion and expect a reaction to what they say to someone else and if I was not able to make a certain facial expression that would confuse and possibly anger some. In a work environment the inability to make a facial expression could ruin a friendship and create a different image of yourself to others which could impact your work environment. In personal life it could also ruin friendships and make yourself seem detached from any conversation and could affect your ability to make new friends and meet new people. A professor combined statistics from two studies and it showed that all communication is made up of 7% verbal and 93% non-verbal. The 93% being made up of 55% body language and 38% tone of voice. Including in body language is facial expression, so this means that facial expression is also another way of communicating to people. If I was unable to communicate through my expressions my conversations would be short and would lack any flow.
I found some of your points about smiling on command quite intriguing. One thing you said that I found interesting was that certain people thrive off of others emotions and reactions. And if you don’t show any sort of emotion it can be confusing. I like this point you made because I haven’t really thought about that before, and now that I do, I better understand it. In fact, I feel as though I enjoy someone’s reaction to something I say so much that I continue to talk to them. If they don’t react then like you said, the conversation may become boring or dry. Another point you shared that I like are the statistics and how you evaluated them to come to the conclusion that facial expressions are a huge part of communication. I agree with your statement that it would be difficult to have a good conversation if you couldn’t show exaggerated expressions, but I wonder if this difficulty is the same if you couldn’t analyze these facial expressions. A conversation is two sided, and if either of those sides are troubled, I imagine that it doesn’t flow. For John, analyzing facial expressions is really difficult so not only not being able to smile on command, but also not knowing what it means if someone else does, can be difficult. Overall, I really enjoyed your response and you brought up new ideas that I wouldn’t have considered.
DeleteGood response, Elliott. I like what you said about smiling on command. I think it's a very valuable attribute. Being at ease in social situations definitely gives one an advantage in life.
DeleteI chose Question #3
ReplyDeleteBeing able to show an emotion on command in my opinion, is an important social skill. If you produce the wrong facial expression, people might be confused, or offended by it. I smile on command when someone I don't know greets me. It's something most people do. By doing this, it shows this person that I'm friendly and not mean. Usually I smile when someone says something interesting, and that will let the person know I am engaging and listening. This is important because in a situation like this, attentiveness will positively effect the way people see you. They will most likely want to talk more with you, because they know you listen. If you are unable to show a certain emotion, it could effect how people see you, and they might not have conversations with you as much. For instance, if you give off the wrong facial expression the first time you meet someone, like they say something sad and you smile, that will negatively effect your chances of ever talking with that person again. Or, if someone says something funny and you frown or sigh, it'll confuse the other person and they might not view you as someone who can take a joke or actually talk to another person. In a work environment, making the wrong facial expression could make people not want to converse with you, and it might make it hard to find work at all. In your personal life, it could make it harder to make friends, and it also might make it less likely that someone else will converse with you. Talking with someone is obviously not the most important part of a conversation, as I've just covered the importance of making the right facial expression. Because if you don't, then it might come across as weird, confusing, or offensive to some people. It all really depends on the topic or mood of the conversation. If it's a depressing topic and you smile, most people will view you as rude, and might not talk to you again. So making the right facial expression is crucial in conversations, because if you don't make the right face, things could take a turn.
Good response, Liam. You are lucky to be able to respond on command. Imagine what it might be like for someone like John Elder.
DeleteQuestion #2:
ReplyDeleteFrom Sophie
When John was on tour with KISS there were some times when he felt uncomfortable, a time when he wasn't comfortable was when the band members and crew were all doing drugs, he didn't do them because he doesn't like the feeling of being out of control of his body. Around the 1970s John decided that it was a time for change, he was barely making enough money to support himself working for KISS. He was told a few times that he should move to the city and pursue a career there, but he didn't feel comfortable in big cities. John didn't like cities because he didn't feel safe in a crowd of people. He liked being in the country, it was where he grew up and where he felt safest. When he was in Shutesbury he had a lot of family drama going on but there he was able to experience life. When he was in Shutesbury he had many interesting experiences. One time when he was escaping the crazy at home he was walking in the woods and found a man who was camping out. The man was an army veteran who was struggling, he taught John how to hunt, fish and watch out for trip wires in the woods. John visited him everyday and still remembers what he taught him thirty years later. Living in the city might be intimidating to someone with Aspergers because someone like John who doesn't like large crowds might feel unsafe. John said “I didn't like cities. They were full of people-- people who made me feel anxious, people I didn't know how to relate to.” (page 172) People with Aspergers tend to have a hard time with people they don't know, perhaps if John grew up in the city and was used to all the people than he would have been able to move there.
I think you're right Sophie––a lot of it is where and how you grow up. In his case, the idea of all of those people was just too much. In a lot of ways, I can relate to what he is saying.
DeletePosted for Mack
ReplyDeleteJohn Elder has many reasons why he associates better with machines than people and why he finds comfort in them. His first reason is, “I control the machines.” (Robinson pg. 151). John Elder likes machines because he is in control. They are predictable. They don’t suddenly change course of topic or make fun of John Elder. Machines make John Elder feel in charge because they have to do what he says. He orchestrates the “lives” of the machines instead of other people orchestrating his life and he has to try and react to it. John Elder likes putting things together, making them work, and seeing the wonderful results. “You’ve taken thousands of lifeless individual parts—lightbulbs, reflections, circuit breakers, dimmer packs, power cables, clamps, and trusses— and turned them into a living thing. And you are its master.” (pg. 152). John Elder again likes to be in control, but like any other human being, he likes wonder of it all coming together and John Elder especially likes the congratulations he receives after completing the mastery of his light show and having it revealed on stage. “One Million Watts of power right there under your finger. There’s nothing like it in the world.” (Pg. 154). As I said John Elder loves the feeling of all lights coming together as one for one big show. However there’s another piece to it. He loves working on the lights and tinkering to make sure they work perfectly. During the shows he runs the lights and he loves the magically feeling of being one with the machine. He loves the feeling of being in control. He loves the feeling of accomplishing something good that people actually congratulate him for. He also loves that he found his calling. His calling was being and engineer.
I think what you said about finding something that people actually congratulate him for is big. It's something where he can just be who he is without worrying about how he is responding to people and how they feel about him.
Delete