End of Look Me in the Eye––Final Post. Due By Sunday Night, February 18, 2019
Choose one or two of the following prompts (from the Random House Website) and respond to it (them). Your response should be at least 300 words.
1. When a man is offended by John calling him a Montagoonian because he comes from a town called Montague, John writes that the man had no right to be offended because that’s where he lived, and if he didn’t like it, that he should move.
1. When a man is offended by John calling him a Montagoonian because he comes from a town called Montague, John writes that the man had no right to be offended because that’s where he lived, and if he didn’t like it, that he should move.
Questions: What do you think of John’s use of nicknames to refer to others? In the case of the man from Montague, do you agree with John, that he had no right to be offended? Should John have stopped calling the man a Montagoonian simply because he was offended, even if he disagreed with the logic? Why/ Why not?
2. John describes growing apart from and ultimately divorcing Little Bear, and his next marriage to Martha. John wonders whether or not he picked the best mate in Martha, and considers her other two sisters as potentially better alternatives.
Questions: What criteria should you use when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend? What criteria should not be a factor in this process? Is it normal to have doubts about your mate? How should you deal with these doubts?
4. John writes about how he made peace with his parents during the writing of
Questions: What criteria should you use when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend? What criteria should not be a factor in this process? Is it normal to have doubts about your mate? How should you deal with these doubts?
3. John uses the metaphor of a train to describe his life, equating himself to the “Little Engine That Could,”
a favorite story of his as a child. He used to imagine himself as that little engine, and carried the refrain with him: “I think I can, I think I can...” He shares that the competing voices he heard were difficult to ignore: “You’re a failure,” “You belong in prison,”etc. John attributes his success to hard work. Questions: Identify ways that John showed tenacity and perseverance in his life. What great things would you like to accomplish in your life?
a favorite story of his as a child. He used to imagine himself as that little engine, and carried the refrain with him: “I think I can, I think I can...” He shares that the competing voices he heard were difficult to ignore: “You’re a failure,” “You belong in prison,”etc. John attributes his success to hard work. Questions: Identify ways that John showed tenacity and perseverance in his life. What great things would you like to accomplish in your life?
4. John writes about how he made peace with his parents during the writing of
his book. John describes his last days with his father.
Questions: Describe John’s relationship with his father at different stages in John’s life. How did John’s reconciliation with his father affect his memory of events?
Questions: Describe John’s relationship with his father at different stages in John’s life. How did John’s reconciliation with his father affect his memory of events?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete#4
ReplyDeleteWhen John was really young, nobody understood his condition. This stayed that way for most of his life. And one person that you would expect to see giving empathy to him but didn’t, was his father. Social interactions can be very difficult for someone with Aspergers causing them to not want to, for instance, look someone in the eye. But “[John’s] father would say, ‘Look at me! What are you hiding?’” (1). He didn’t understands that John really did not feel comfortable doing it and when John refused, his father didn’t back off either. His dad would drink and get amped up and even whip him. Their relationship with each other did not start out well. John was scared of his father. “When I was little, I ran and hid from him” (2). There was no trust between the two of them. Later on, John says it got worse. “As my parents fought more, my father got meaner” (15). The whole atmosphere of his house was not healthy or safe which affected his relationship with his dad even more. When his family moved out of their first home, all of sudden things got really bad. John described his father as “dangerous.” He described a time when he walked by his father and “[his father] grabbed [him], shook [him] violently, and then slammed [him] into the wall so hard that [he] fractured the plaster” (51). All the moments like these built up a hatred inside John for his father that he even wished things like, “I hope he crashes and dies!” (52). They were not connected at all and it didn’t seem like things would get better. However, they decided to visit a therapist and it seemed to help John Elder. “We had been seeing Dr. Finch for a while now, and my father certainly treated me better” (65). He started having some good moments with his father, but the bad ones still overruled his memories. When John went on tour, their relationship healed even more because the time apart didn’t allow them to fight. After this time in John’s life, him and his father never became as close as someone may hope, but it was better than when he was a little kid. At the very end of the book, John describes his father’s last few days alive. John felt bad that as his father was dying and no good memories came to mind. “On the way there, I was angry because I could not remember a single good time we had shared when I was young” (276). However, John eventually asked his father for any good memories and he explained a time when they went to the train tracks together. All of a sudden good memories flooded John’s mind. “There had been fun times, after all” (277). For his whole life, John had bad experiences with his father, and they were so prominent that the good memories just seemed to disappear. But the relationship that had been torn down and slowly built up again left John with one last good memory which lead to many others. That connection that John and his father had in one of their last moments together benefited their relationship so much. “For so many years, I could not recall anything about him except the bad and the ugly. Now the stories and memories that were lost to me for thirty years have taken on life. I hope they stay” (180).
Excellent blog post, Gretta.
DeleteI like how you traced the course of their relationship with very specific evidence from the book. Obviously, you put the necessary time into the work. Well done.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete#4
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning of the book it talked about how John was abused by his father. I feel like if his father didn't have such a bad drinking problem he would have been a better father to John. "I could hear him taking off his belt, and I would hope I had a good pile of blankets on me. Whack! The belt would come down. He hit me as hard as he could, (53)." When John got older he moved out, and did lots of different jobs. Well John was gone his father seemed to drink even more and was very depressed. "Meanwhile, my father was struggling in his apartment in town, at one point eating sleeping pills in a drunken suicide attempt that left him drying out in a hospital, (109)." I think his father really got his act together when he found Judy and married her. I'm pretty sure John's father stopped drinking completely, but his liver was already really damaged. I feel like a lot of the good memories that John had with his father were overlapped by all the horrible things his father did to him. It was really sad when John said, "I could not remember a single good time we had shared when I was younger, (276)." It sucks how they really didn't get to bond together until they got older. The last conversation John had with his father before he died was very important to John. They talked about all the amazing memories they had together, and I think it made John think differently about his father before he died. "In place of my father, I have my memories. For so many years, I could not recall anything about him except the bad and the ugly. Now stories and memories that were lost to me for thirty years have taken on life. I hope they stay, (280)." This book really shows how important family is, and how it can affect a person. I have personally enjoyed reading this book and I have learned a lot from it.
Connor,
DeleteI enjoyed reading your response. As I wrote in response to someone else's comment, it's so interesting to me how his father is still his father at the end of the day––despite everything his father did. In other words, no matter what, we still want positive relationships with our parents (even when they have not been good parents).
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGood entry, Lily. I like how you pointed out his practice of "naming" people. It's interesting to me that he did find some positives with his father towards the end of his father's life. At the end of the day, his father is still his father, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteIn the book Look Me in the Eye, John Elder Robinson calls or names many people that he knows using his own nicknames. He almost never uses peoples given name because it is hard for him to use peoples given name. It is hard for him because he has a hard time remembering and associating with people if he doesn’t. John Elder makes nicknames for people based on a couple things. Some of these things are age, what they do, and relationship to him or to others. An example of an age nickname is for his brother, Augusten. He was called Varmint. John Elder gave this nickname to him when he was younger. Another example of a nickname given by John Elder, is Unit 2 given to his wife Martha. Martha is called unit 2 because she is the middle child of two sisters. John Elder’s nicknames are a little strange when you first see or hear them. However when they are explained by him, it makes sense why he gave those nicknames to those people or those things.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with John that the man from Montague should have had no right to be offended because being called a Montagoonian is the same as being called a Liverpudlian. A Liverpudlian is what people from Liverpool are called. However being called a Montagoonian does sound a little ridiculous. Even though it sounds a little ridiculous does not me that the man should have reacted the way that he did. Since the man was offended by John Elder calling him what he called him, I think John Elder should have stopped calling him a Montagoonian. He should have stopped calling him that because, maybe the man was embarrassed by the name, or maybe something about it brought back a really bad memory. Even if it seemed ridiculous how the man responded to the name, there might have been a very valid reason of why he didn’t like the name
ReplyDeleteFrom Sophie.
A time in John’s life when he showed tenacity and perseverance was when he was working at a factory. The company was producing a handheld video game called Microvision. The company believed the Microvisions were going to be the next new big thing. But things took a turn for the worst. As the Microvisions were being produced, sold and used they were beginning to fail. The defective rate of the Microvisions went from 5 percent to 60 percent in a few weeks. This was the first time the company's toys broke. John worked in R&D and because the engineers did not know what to do they asked John for his input because supposedly he would have a “...fresh perspective on the situation.” (pg 200) John did not know what was wrong with the Microvisions but was determined to help the company. He began learning about the way the toys were made and the manufacturing process. As he learned he asked questions about possibly getting a bad batch of parts, and if there was a change in manufacturing. After testing his questions they still couldn't find the source of the problem. The problem was getting worse, more and more Microvisions were failing. John was still trying to help, he decided that he wanted to talk things over with his friend Bob. They decided to meet on Bobs boat. While they were on the boat John observed that it was a perfect fall day, when the leaves were beginning to turn. While thinking about how the seasons changed he realized that the humidity in the air changed from summer to fall. Then it hit him. “Static, I blurted out to Bob.” (pg 202) “lower humidity meant more static electricity” (pg 202) John realized that the static electricity caused by the changing seasons was the cause of the Microvisions failing. He instantly began thinking about how he could prove his theory, when he proved that static electricity was causing the Microvisions to fail he saved the company. Johns perseverance helped him save the company thousands of dollars. He didn't stop trying to fix the problem until he succeeded.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePrompt #1:
ReplyDeleteWe know that John has trouble with names, and gives people nicknames to help him, but not the people in the story. So we understand why John had called this man a Motagoonian. We also know that John has given many people nicknames in the past, and have changed over time. For instance his brother started out as Varmint, when he was younger. He was called this because he was like a "Varmint". So I don't think the man should have gotten that upset, because it was quite clear that John didn't mean to offend the man, and it's not like they are gonna see each other that often. John is very specific about names too. For example, John would say something like this "This is my Hispanic friend, Sean" instead of just saying "This is my friend, Sean". He gives more detail than any other person would, but that's what I like about him. He isn't like everyone else, he has his own way of calling people things, or saying things. So for the man to get upset with the Montagoonian thing, was just a bit funny to me. I mean John obviously meant the man no harm, so I feel like the man could of just brushed it off his shoulder, and moved on. Instead he had to get so upset about it, and really it didn't need to be that big of a deal. Also, being called a Montagoonian is the equivalent of being called a Vermonter, it just means you are from Vermont. So in my opinion, being called a nickname such as that should not be taken in an offensive way. John also can't help it, he has trouble remembering peoples names and that is a way for him to remember people. What he did was in no way wrong nor should it have been taken that way. I guess the man could've gotten more upset because John continued to call him that, but then again, it still isn't worth flipping out over. You can be upset at it, you just don't need to show it that way. Also, when John Elder says if the man doesn't like the name, he should move, I kind of get what he is saying. At first it sounds a bit rude. But when you think about it, and that John Elder has been explaining why he did all of this, it's simply because the name Montagoonian is John Elder's way of saying that man is from Montague. It all makes sense once it is explained.
Prompt #1
ReplyDeleteI think the nicknames that John comes up with are very important to him. He has trouble with names and he likes to give nicknames to people and things. I don't think that anyone should really get irritated by this if they know him well. In the case of the man from Montague, I don't think he should have gotten so upset. With John it just makes sense to call him Montagoonian and he didn't mean to offend anyone. He mentioned Canada and Canadians and how people from Canada are Canadians, that makes sense to me. I think that when John really explains his logic and reasoning for things he does, they really make sense. At first I didn't understand and I thought it was odd that he said he was a Montagoonian, but after he explained it, it made complete sense. I don't think that John got to explain himself to George and that is why the man got disgruntled. He didn't hear the whole story, or Johns reasoning for why he called him Montagoonian. The man may be thought he was more than just a Montagoonian attorney and thought John shouldn't have called him that. The man could potentially not be proud of where he came from and didn't want people to know for one reason or another. Usually you wouldn't say where they are from in a conversation though. For example, if I had a Canadian lawyer, I wouldn't say “This is George, my Canadian Lawyer.” I would just say “This is George, my lawyer”. But that's the thing with John. He does things that are out of the box and not everyday people do the things John does. People wouldn't normally say this is a Montagoonian lawyer, but John would and that's what makes him so unique. The man absolutely shouldn't have gotten so distressed and I thought it was rather silly that he did. By the way John described George when he said that, it seemed he was very deeply deeply offended. He should have just accepted what John said and moved on.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI find this very interesting, that John was able to finally remember the good in his father. John and his father always had a strained relationship, like you said. But I don't think that their relationship really ever got better. I think it was more a toleration of each other. John's father did things that are unforgivable and they leave deep emotional scars. I think these events that happened had always surrounded John and he couldn't see the good in his father. He could only see the abuser and the alcoholic and what a terrible dad he was. The bad things outweighed the good things. But once he saw his father on his last few days before dying, its like all the bad thoughts went away and he remembered good times with his father. I think your idea of this is very interesting. I think this happens to a lot of people. Their good memories, moments, ectecteria, get covered up by the bad ones. They can only think of the bad things and they seem to forget all the good things. People need to let go of bad things that are weighing them down and they need to focus on the good, positive things in life.
ReplyDeletePrompt #2
ReplyDeleteCriteria for a boyfriend/girlfriend or for a husband/wife, usually ranges from looks to personality to interests to money, depending on the person that you ask. Some people think one is more important over the other. Things like looks and personality are a huge factor in choosing a mate for me. Interests don’t necessarily matter to me, because interests are always changing and adapting to situations. For me a factor that shouldn’t be in criteria for a mate is money. All money does for a relationship is make things easier. It makes buying things less of a hassle and that's it. For me money does not fall as a factor in my criteria because it doesn’t offer anything other than making things easier. And if you’re in a relationship that is important to you, something that is harder or easier to do shouldn't matter. Personality and looks offer a lot to a relationship. Personality should allow you to be at ease with your partner and enjoy yourself, the same with looks. You should find yourself a mate whose looks make you enjoy yourself, not feel worse. I think doubts should be thought over by the person wanting a relationship, before the relationship has even begun. This includes thoughts like, “Can I picture myself with this person for the rest of my life” or “Is this really the best relationship that I could have” or “There is probably a better match out there”. And if you have gone over all of these thoughts and have overcome them by not comparing yourself to other people and by thinking wisely then sure go for the relationship by all means. There might be more doubts along the road but that is normal and it is alright because before the relationship began you should have gone over everything. Once you have overcome your doubts, then you will know you can handle a relationship that you are willing to make sacrifices and risks for.